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// Monday, February 16, 2009

Out of the Mouth of a Knave

Parenting is all at once a joy, a challenge, a marathon, a sprint, a smile, a tear, a satisfaction, and far too many moments of, "I can't believe I just said that!"

Here are some of my more stellar, "I can't believe that just came out of my mouth," gems.

Sadly, this is not an exhaustive list.
  1. Just because you didn't get your way doesn't mean you walk away.
  2. Before you scream and shout, take a breath and work it out.
  3. Don't lick that!
  4. Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you get to stay up all night.
  5. Coming to the dinner table is a lot like going to a restaurant: No shirt, no socks – no service.
  6. Seriously, what were you thinking?
  7. These are your choices for a snack: A banana, a banana, or a banana. Pick one.
  8. Mommy and Daddy cannot watch another episode of Blue Clues.
  9. You'll beat me at this game when you win.
  10. The couch is not a trampoline.
  11. Get the drumstick out of your nose. You'll get boogers on the drum head.
  12. How many times do I have to tell you this? Don't—step—on—the—dog.
  13. Where are your pants?!?
© Copyright 2009 Christopher V. DeRobertis. All rights reserved.